It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
