You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
