Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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