I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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