there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
