so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He passed out mid-signature
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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