At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
