guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
