FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
