he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Randomize
