Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
