I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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