I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
