I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
