Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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