I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
