he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize