i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Randomize
