dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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