Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Randomize
