forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
