You can't motorboat a personality
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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