I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
