Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
