Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
