and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize