if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
