does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Four minutes until I can fart!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
