Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize