my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize