All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
