Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
