I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
