Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She needs sedatives and a leash
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
