We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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