oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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