i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
