it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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