In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
