Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Randomize
