so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
