woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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