Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize