whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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