so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
