so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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