I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
