Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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