She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize