I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
