i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
