i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
whose parrot is this?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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