i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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