I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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