Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
