so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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