I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
