first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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