thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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