All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
