Swine flu. Run for my life!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
